s a r a h

This morning I woke up with a very very bad feeling. The night's sleep was brilliant but something was bothering me insanely much. I just felt I could lay down and just cry.

I don't know what's wrong with me or why I got this crazy feelings. When I feel like I did, sometimes do, I just want to dissapear. I feel so much anger and frustration. Dont know what to do or where to go. I just want to do so much things I know for fact are stupid, but at that point I just cant think clear. I just wanna do something about the situation.

When I think about my life I cant stop think: How the hell did this happen? 
I just wish I could wake up and somebody was sitting next to me and say: Dont worry, it was just a bad dream.
It feels like whatever I do, wherever I am, something goes wrong. The whole me is like a curse or something. First I thought I had a curse on me since Im always are having troubles with my cars, but now I start wonder. Its not just cars anymore. I have realized that it's so much more, and I think its me. Im a star to get into trouble and then I start think.. What happened? How did I manege with this?

I dont want to be anywhere, I dont wanna do anything. I just want everything to be solved around me, but that's never gonna happen. This is life. Life is hard and if you want something, you have to fight for it. Nothing is for free.

For the moment my life is more wierd and complicated than a potatosoup that tastes sour milk. Does it sounds wierd? I bet it does and I dont wanna taste it. Wanna taste my life? I dont think so.  

Another thing Im thinking of is, how can I expect people to love me if I cant love myself? I cant ask for stuff if I cant keep em myself. That's just wrong. But I guess that's life.  

/ Sarah