Back to reality
Last night at my sister's place. I really really enjoyed the time here. Today me and my sister went to Skövde for shopping. It was ment to be very bad weather today so yesterday we planned we could go to the shoppingmall. When we got there it suddenly became very hot and awesome weather. Hmm.. after a while we thought we could speed it up a bit so we could get home and go for a swim aswell, which imo was a very good idea. Sandra shopped alot which was very fun and I got some stuff aswell. We like summersale. :)
When we was supposed to leave Skövde to go home again Sandra was looking at the watch, 14.20, fuck! It was Sandra against the time. Every 30 min the bridge in the village opens, which she hates, coz you never know how long its gonna take. It all depends on how many boats that need to pass. When we came to the city it was 14.55. We had 5 minutes over! She said it was probably her fastest drive home. But hey, what do you do when its hot and you wanna miss the bridge? As soon as the road was clean from cameras she found how to speed it up. :p
Tomorrow we are gonna leave here. Sandra will go with me home to our parents so it will be nice to have some company, expect from Jr and Zoe ofc. :) Apparently its gonna be awful weather tomorrow so it suits us very good to go 4 hours in car. We will prolly take it slow and make some stops along the trip. Foodbreak, peebreak, JR-break, shoppingmall break, yeah you know. :) Besides having company in the car there is also a good thing that she goes with me. Lately my back hurts even more than usual so Im not sure that its a good idea that I drive all the way. We can switch if needed. I hope its for a good reason my back hurts. That might sound a bit stupid but my trainer said that its gonna hurt insanely much when Im training, and I have been swimming alot lately. I need to build up a strong stomage and back and its gonna hurt but the result will be good. Or atleast as good as it can be.
Today Cajsa arrived to the island where our parents live so its gonna be great to meet her. She is gonna stay for 3 weeks so I hope I will get some time with her. Daniel is coming there Friday night and Cajsa's boyfriend on Saturday. Its gonna be great to FINALLY meet this guy. Always when he is there Im not so this time I will really try to make an appointment.
Yesterday there happened a tiny accident aswell. One of Sandra's cats took a bite on one of my bikinis! She ate the string I need to put behind the neck. Hmm.. well done worry, it came out again but not very fresh. My mom was gonna have a look at it if she could fix it in some way. Its my favourite one!
Then I started to think. How do you punish an indoor cat? I mean you cant throw it out, you cant lock it inside in a single room, then it would probably happen a hmm accident somewhere you dont want to, you cant stop give it food... does it work with just yelling?
Now my plan is to read some pages from my book. It will probably dont take long before I fall asleep with the light on and the book on my nose but yeah. What can you do? :)
Goodnight fellows.
When we was supposed to leave Skövde to go home again Sandra was looking at the watch, 14.20, fuck! It was Sandra against the time. Every 30 min the bridge in the village opens, which she hates, coz you never know how long its gonna take. It all depends on how many boats that need to pass. When we came to the city it was 14.55. We had 5 minutes over! She said it was probably her fastest drive home. But hey, what do you do when its hot and you wanna miss the bridge? As soon as the road was clean from cameras she found how to speed it up. :p
Tomorrow we are gonna leave here. Sandra will go with me home to our parents so it will be nice to have some company, expect from Jr and Zoe ofc. :) Apparently its gonna be awful weather tomorrow so it suits us very good to go 4 hours in car. We will prolly take it slow and make some stops along the trip. Foodbreak, peebreak, JR-break, shoppingmall break, yeah you know. :) Besides having company in the car there is also a good thing that she goes with me. Lately my back hurts even more than usual so Im not sure that its a good idea that I drive all the way. We can switch if needed. I hope its for a good reason my back hurts. That might sound a bit stupid but my trainer said that its gonna hurt insanely much when Im training, and I have been swimming alot lately. I need to build up a strong stomage and back and its gonna hurt but the result will be good. Or atleast as good as it can be.
Today Cajsa arrived to the island where our parents live so its gonna be great to meet her. She is gonna stay for 3 weeks so I hope I will get some time with her. Daniel is coming there Friday night and Cajsa's boyfriend on Saturday. Its gonna be great to FINALLY meet this guy. Always when he is there Im not so this time I will really try to make an appointment.
Yesterday there happened a tiny accident aswell. One of Sandra's cats took a bite on one of my bikinis! She ate the string I need to put behind the neck. Hmm.. well done worry, it came out again but not very fresh. My mom was gonna have a look at it if she could fix it in some way. Its my favourite one!
Then I started to think. How do you punish an indoor cat? I mean you cant throw it out, you cant lock it inside in a single room, then it would probably happen a hmm accident somewhere you dont want to, you cant stop give it food... does it work with just yelling?
Now my plan is to read some pages from my book. It will probably dont take long before I fall asleep with the light on and the book on my nose but yeah. What can you do? :)
Goodnight fellows.
This is where we were swimming
Junior on the beach :) <3
Beautiful
Love you...
When love...
I can still remember the way life used to be.
When everything was simple, the days were endlessly.
Recalling the emotions on my distant memories.
We didn't know what love was, but still we did belive.
When love lives in heaven.
Why does it hurt so bad?
Why does it make me sad?
All the tears in my eyes...
When love lives in heaven, why do the angels smile?
Tell me the reason why.
We were swimming in the ocean.
Dacing in the rain.
We sitting on the rooftop and reaching for the stars.
Those days are gone forever but the legend never leaves.
We felt so free, but emptiness is all that's left in me.
But you could be the one who turns my world around.
If I could only turn to you.
GC - When love lives in heaven
Summertime
For those who didnt know, Im staying at my sister's right now. Here are some pictures so far.
4 weeks holiday starts now!
We ran into our cousin Martin in the park yesterday evening.
Nice 
Beautiful Sandra
Me 
You are my life
Heavy thoughts
Sometimes it feels like there's no point with anything. Sometimes it feels like you're trying so hard, and you are trying so hard so you're forgetting what you are fighting for. I have one of these moments now. It hurts. Im laying in bed now with the laptop in my knee and listen to music and it feels like my head is gonna explode. I should be sleeping. I should just relax and think everything is gonna be alright. Everything is gonna work out in some way, but right now I can't let my thoughts go away. The questions "why", "how" and "when" keeps returing to me.
I know Im not an easy person. Sometimes when I feel bad I so badly wanna keep it for myself. I want it so badly so I hurt people around me that wanna help me. I think that Im trying so hard so I fail. I don't want to be a bother coz as far as I know, to feel unwanted, is the worse feeling you can feel.
Noone ever said that life was gonna be easy. I think it is what you make out of it, but sometimes I cant stop wonder, is it really suppose to be like this? Every person got their own feelings and experiences of things, both good and bad, and a life that might look very good from another person's point of view might be a nightmare for the person who lives that life. Ofcourse you can dream of a life that seems good from the outside. You can wish you lived his/her life, but in my opinion you should always keep in mind that you arent that person. You arent sharing the same feelings. Think about it, what makes you happy?
The latest days I have been trying to relax and appreciate everything I have. I know there are so many people around the world that are having so many more and worse problems than me. Sometimes the bad takes over and you arent happy about what you actually got. All you see is what you're missing.
When Im feeling like this it feels like Im disappearing. I take a step out and looking back at my life. What happened, both in happiness and sadness. Ofcourse the sad things dominates. Its the sad feelings you feel comes back. Its like you are experience it over again. Very often Im thinking back to Friday 13th February 2004. It was the date when my uncle died which caused my grandma's 8 last days in life was in coma. She wasnt strong enough to deal with it. I remember it like it was yesterday. I asked my grandma before she passed out if there was anything I could do for her, give her a glas of water or anything but she was in a too big shock, and a few minutes later the ambulance came and picked her up. I remember I so badly wanted to do anything for her but I couldnt come up with anything good. Water was the only thing I could think of and I feel so stupid. Why didnt I sit down next to her? Hugging her? Anything. If I knew that was the last time I saw her breathing on her own I would probably said how much I love her.
Thats the scary thing about life. You never know what's gonna happens next. You never know if you're gonna meet your mum, dad, sister, brother, friend etc ever again. There is noone who can promise you that. I never thought my last words to grandpa would be: go to bed! Now, when the damage is done, there is nothing to do about it. And when I think of it, Im getting so sad. My family has always been very important to me, now there is just one left from my grandparents, and it makes me realize how short life is. There is no guarantee for anything. You just have to face it.
Think about it. Tomorrow it might be too late.
I know Im not an easy person. Sometimes when I feel bad I so badly wanna keep it for myself. I want it so badly so I hurt people around me that wanna help me. I think that Im trying so hard so I fail. I don't want to be a bother coz as far as I know, to feel unwanted, is the worse feeling you can feel.
Noone ever said that life was gonna be easy. I think it is what you make out of it, but sometimes I cant stop wonder, is it really suppose to be like this? Every person got their own feelings and experiences of things, both good and bad, and a life that might look very good from another person's point of view might be a nightmare for the person who lives that life. Ofcourse you can dream of a life that seems good from the outside. You can wish you lived his/her life, but in my opinion you should always keep in mind that you arent that person. You arent sharing the same feelings. Think about it, what makes you happy?
The latest days I have been trying to relax and appreciate everything I have. I know there are so many people around the world that are having so many more and worse problems than me. Sometimes the bad takes over and you arent happy about what you actually got. All you see is what you're missing.
When Im feeling like this it feels like Im disappearing. I take a step out and looking back at my life. What happened, both in happiness and sadness. Ofcourse the sad things dominates. Its the sad feelings you feel comes back. Its like you are experience it over again. Very often Im thinking back to Friday 13th February 2004. It was the date when my uncle died which caused my grandma's 8 last days in life was in coma. She wasnt strong enough to deal with it. I remember it like it was yesterday. I asked my grandma before she passed out if there was anything I could do for her, give her a glas of water or anything but she was in a too big shock, and a few minutes later the ambulance came and picked her up. I remember I so badly wanted to do anything for her but I couldnt come up with anything good. Water was the only thing I could think of and I feel so stupid. Why didnt I sit down next to her? Hugging her? Anything. If I knew that was the last time I saw her breathing on her own I would probably said how much I love her.
Thats the scary thing about life. You never know what's gonna happens next. You never know if you're gonna meet your mum, dad, sister, brother, friend etc ever again. There is noone who can promise you that. I never thought my last words to grandpa would be: go to bed! Now, when the damage is done, there is nothing to do about it. And when I think of it, Im getting so sad. My family has always been very important to me, now there is just one left from my grandparents, and it makes me realize how short life is. There is no guarantee for anything. You just have to face it.
Think about it. Tomorrow it might be too late.
